Author & Blogger

Making Assumptions: Be-ware And Aware

Making assumptions can sometimes be a source of unhappiness, but it can be avoided through awareness, practice, and patience.

woman waiting for phone call

Ashley and her family went out to the restaurant to celebrate Ashley’s 4th birthday: dinner and a birthday cake.

“Who’s the birthday girl?” The waiter asked. He was a young man dressed in a white shirt, a black tie, and black pants, and he was holding a princess crown.

Meee!” Ashley cheered, as she raised her hand.

“This is for you, Princess,” the waiter said, then placed the crown on her head. Ashley had a big smile on her face. She sat still, only daring to move her eyes to make sure that everyone was watching her. Then, she inspected her crown with her hands and looked up. She stared at the waiter’s face for a moment. Suddenly, her smile disappeared.

“Why are your eyes so big?” She asked aloud.

Ashley’s mother instantly intervened. “Do you want milk or apple juice?”

“Princess,” the waiter tried to explain, “I have a problem with my thyroid gland. It’s a medical condition that causes my eyes to pop out like that. I have to take medication every day, and the doctor …”

Not really hearing or caring for his explanations, Ashley interrupted, “Is your tie choking you?”

That question caught everyone by surprise. Some people cracked up laughing, while the rest, feeling awkward and unsure of how to react, remained quiet.

“My tie is actually very tight,” he answered.

“Why don’t you ‘untight’ it?” She innocently suggested.

“That’s a good idea,” he agreed laughing, then got busy taking everyone’s order.  

Just like Ashley, we all tend to imagine and assume this or that, every once in a while. We see and hear something, but imagine and assume something else. Sometimes, we assume something bad, maybe even the worst. We jump to conclusions that might lead us to feel unhappy—embarrassed, worried, scared, frustrated, disappointed, unappreciated, hurt, or unloved.

5 Tips To Avoid Making Assumptions That Lead Us To

Feel Unhappy

 

1-      Become aware of the unhappiness that you are feeling in the present moment, and identify your one or many thoughts—what your mind is showing and telling you about yourself, someone else, or a certain situation—that are causing your unhappiness.

2-      Watch a situation that is happening around you the way you watch a movie scene, without getting involved with the scene itself or becoming one with it. Listen to someone’s words and stay focused on them. Keep your attention on that person’s words and stories without letting your mind drift off to your own stories, assumptions, and conclusions. 

3-      Instead of assuming and jumping to conclusions, investigate the situation. Research and collect facts. Verify information. Ask the concerned person clear and precise questions about their thoughts, feelings, intentions, words, and actions.

4-      Become aware that every word that someone says, and every gesture or action that they do is not necessarily intended to offend or hurt you. Before you take it personally and react to it, remember to ask yourself about that person’s present life conditions. Put compassion in your heart and walk in their shoes for a moment, and try to understand what kind of day they’re having.

5-      Remember that you are in charge of your thoughts and you can control them. Stop the one or many thoughts that are responsible for your unhappiness from invading your mind. Listen to the silence of your mind instead, and feel happy again.

Read more about how to be happy

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